Oh wowo your reading the final entry ever. Hold you breath before you pat yourself on the back because you've suceeded in pretending you care by reading these ridiculous diaries, cuz I have something to say and actually think about what I'm saying for once. In life there and two kinds of people, your enemies and that one person, ONE person you are truely happy with. That happy medium of friends or "BFFAE" doesn't really exist. You always drift apart from this person or that person, or one person just stabs you in the back, or you break up with someone and never want to hear or see them again. You can never have just one "best friend" for the rest of your life. You always get left out in some way. It could even happen just once and then all of you are like "I'm sooo sorry it will never happen again I love you" and all that lovely bullshit, but deep down inside you will always have that resentment. You'll always deny it, and try to act like you never felt that way, but over time it builds because you keep thinking about it, and lets face it, no one, and I mean NO ONE can just move on like that. If you truely were "BFFAE", it would have never happened to begin with. Ok now you're gonna read this and be like "OMG WHAT A BITCH" or like "THAT WAS SNOTTY" well tough my opinion get over it, and deep inside of you, you know there is truth to it. In fact I think all of the true truth come out when you are most pissed off and fed up. But the next time you think someone's really got your back, think about it first. I was talking to someone tonight and I've figured it out, well for the most part. I've noticed that guys always have each others backs, and only don't when something really big happens between them. And when girls are just friends with guys, which I think is definately possible, they act like big brothers to them and take care of them and protect them and can even be that shoulder to cry on. but when it comes to girls being friends with girls it's just like everyone just gets jealous of everyone else and then like some stupid thing happens and it's like "ok fuck you I don't like you anymore you're a bitch". THis isn't directed to a very few of you, but to the rest it is. Like I said you have a problem with it, oh well accept it and think about it. There is truth to it too
whether you like it or not. ALright I'm done.....Good-Bye
Today was interesting, not like anyone cares vbut I'll talk about it anyway. SO we were talking about Socrates and how he always questioned everything. Then we were relating it to Macbeth and saying do we have free will, or do we just have fate. Alright well here is my conclusion on it. We have no free will. We think we do but it is all taken away but "restrictions" that are set by a higher being, whether it be God or something else. I believe that fate determines everything. I think that everything happens for a reason and that our fate manipulates us into thinking that we do have "free will", but when in reality every decision we make is a decision that subconsciencely(sp?) we know we are destined to make, and is why we chose to make that decision. I'd say more but I think I may have confused all of you by now. Muahahaha
omg I love my boyfriend. I love Justin so much. I look into his eyes and I can just see a perfect world with us in it. I don't know what I would do without him. There have been so many times where he has saved me from doing something really really stupid to myself. I love my friends too for listening to me whine......"DO YOU HAVE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO ME WHINEEEEEEEE" ok sorry I had to put that there it just screamed green day moment....lol....
why the fuck does this always happen to me. Why the hell can't I prepare myself for something I know is bound to happen. OK so this weekend has really sucked. last night sucked, and tonight sucked. I hate talent shows. I hate them because I know that I'm supposed to be up there doing what everyone else is foing and I'm not. Why the fuck am I such a fucking failure????...why is it that I am never fucking good enough for someone to pick over someone else. not like anyone who reads this even gives a flying fuck about me. thanks alot guys.....
OMG everything is so perfect again...I have my 2 best friends back and it just feels so good...I have my band back too!!!!!!!!....yay....ok that's really all I had to say plus I LOVE JUSTIN!!!!!(alot)
Damnit I swore to myself that I wouldn't write in this bitch anymore but hey I went a good couple of months doing so but hey it's back. My life has really sucked balls lately...I mean it's been really really bad. Seriously if I didn't have Justin and Moira to keep me sane I would seriously not be here. Justin has really saved me the past couple of weeks and what can I say I love him so much for it. Times have been confusing and really really hard. My mom is a bitch and my dad is a jackass and I'm really ready to tell them all to fuck off. Like no kidding if they do what I think they're gonna do I seriously will and then I may run away.
^Songs to DL^
Days of Pheonix~AFI
Synesthesia~AFI
Permanant Holiday~suicide Machines
A New Kind of Army~Anti-Flag
Wind in Your Sail~Lagwagon
